Psychologists have a name for it: counterfactual thinking. It's the small voice in your head that whispers 'what if I'd taken the other job?', 'what if we'd stayed together?', 'what if I said yes tonight?'. According to a 2022 review at the University of Illinois, the average adult runs through more than a hundred of these imagined scenarios every single day.
For decades, researchers assumed 'what if?' thinking was mostly harmful — a fast track to regret and anxiety. But newer studies suggest the opposite. When counterfactuals are used well, they help us learn faster, plan better, and even feel more grateful for the life we actually have.
The key is direction. 'Upward' counterfactuals ('If I'd studied more, I'd have got that job') tend to motivate us — as long as we don't spiral into shame. 'Downward' counterfactuals ('If I hadn't taken that flight, I might not be here at all') tend to make us feel lucky. Both, in small doses, are healthy.
The trouble starts when the mind runs the same painful scenario on a loop. Rumination, as psychologists call it, is strongly linked to depression. If you notice yourself replaying the same regret for the fifth time in a day, it's a signal — not to suppress the thought, but to gently redirect it: 'And what would I do differently starting tomorrow?'
Interestingly, the most creative people tend to be the most active counterfactual thinkers. Writers imagine 'what if a cat could speak?'. Scientists ask 'what if time slowed near a black hole?'. Entrepreneurs ask 'what if buying groceries took thirty seconds?'. Every innovation, in a sense, is a 'what if' that someone decided to actually build.
So the next time you catch yourself daydreaming, don't apologise for it. Your brain is doing what evolution designed it to do — simulating other worlds, so you can choose the best one to walk into.
